It's actually day two now, but I feel like I need to get out of my head some of the things that are plaguing me on my new journey.
This is a journey of a new start. A new way of looking at health, food and cooking.
My boyfriend's personal trainer, who I started seeing once a week a few weeks ago, told me on Tuesday that if I don't change my ways I will end up like an elephant.
Suppressing the urge to burst into tears in front of the man I love and a man who's trained such stars as Eric Bana, I stood and listened and nodded to him - he's the expert after all, yeah?
He took the food diary I had typed up from the previous seven days and crossed out almost everything with his red pencil. "What's this? That's crap...Nope, this is no good. Too much, too much."
He didn't care what the portions were, or the fact that "tacos with lettuce, tomato, cucumber and mince" meant two little tacos with more salad than anything else.
"Chicken. Chicken or fish. Have it grilled, don't use oil, use the spray oil."
Excuses, he said. They were all excuses. Personally I thought his knowledge of food was limited if he doesn't know what "korma" or Teppanyaki is. His loss. But I figured, what can I gain from him?
If I blitz it, go all out and change my eating habits for three months, and see if that does anything for my body, then maybe I have more chance of change than I've ever had in my life. I have a boyfriend who himself, lost 20 kgs three years ago and didn't have the support, I have the chance to learn and cook and test and try. I've been looking up recipes and nutritional information over the past day, filling the fridge with plenty of fresh veg and fruit. The only challenge will be cooking to keep the two of us satisfied - the bf is training to increase muscle, which means he needs the bulking meals with pasta and potatoes, whereas I need a completely clean meal, and a lot smaller in the evenings.
I consider myself fairly active, I play roller derby, a full-contact women's sport on rollerskates. We train twice a week, scrimmage on Mondays and have off-skates fitness training on Thursdays for an hour. You have to be fit to balance and hit on skates. I've also been hitting the gym with le personal trainer on Tuesdays, and fit in the odd workout at home in the evenings.
Yesterday was my first day, I ditched the caffeine for a peppermint tea, enjoyed my porridge for breakfast - the only acceptable thing on my food diary apart from yoghurt and fruit, and made a tuna salad in the morning to take for lunch. All was going well until about mid-afternoon when my brain started calling out for caffeine. It was yelling and screaming - and it still is. It's like a drug addict having withdrawals, although I suppose caffeine is a drug so that's what's happening.
I have my leftovers for lunch today, a lovely chicken breast I stuffed with herbs and grilled on my new gridle pan, but how I'm going to get through this day without coffee I can only imagine. I suppose this is where the advice "keep strong and carry on" will come in handy. I say that sitting here sipping my mint ginger herbal tea, counting down to the time when I can enjoy a coffee again.
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